Things are starting to get better for me, in the physical sense. I was able to fix the problem I was having with swallowing my food. Turns out I have reflux (which I kind of figured since I know what that feels like) & so my doctor prescribed me medicine which was the BEST THING EVER. (lol) I've been able to eat "normally" which made me so happy, you have no idea. Popping 15 antacid tablets A DAY just to control the burning/heavy sensation in my chest was not fun & not exactly healthy for the long term. I say "normally" though because my surgeon said I'll never really be "normal" because I had bariatric surgery. My body underwent something major & my insides won't really be the same again.
I was trying to stick with going to my support groups but it was pointless. No one would show up whenever I went & so the only person to talk to would be the person directing the support group. Which is great because it gave me a chance to ask her some questions & tell her what I've been going through post surgery but it's not the same as talking to someone who has actually had the surgery too. Not so much that it was pointless, I guess, but it wasn't doing much for me. It sucks because I really do wish I knew someone who could really relate because they have had the same surgery done but unfortunately I don't. On top of that, the surgery I had done (sleeve gastrectomy) is still fairly new & not many people know of it.
I'm slowly starting to come around as far as accepting the fact that I even had the surgery done to begin with. The only time I get upset is when I have to eat. Your brain sees the food & wants to devour it but you can't because if you take too big of a bite, that's more chewing you'll be doing so it'll take even longer to eat. Soooo. Take. Your. Time.
Chew, chew, chew.
*sigh*
Between all the chewing & the amount of time it takes me to eat because I have to go at a slow pace, I sometimes want to scream. It's not so much WHAT I eat because I've been eating a lot better for the past 10 months now. (Although I've realized certain foods that I used to eat, don't sit in my stomach very well now so I stay away from them.) I'm proud of myself for eating better. It makes me feel good. I do miss the taste of certain things like soda...wine...coffee... All things that have a big imaginary stop sign on them for me. (lol)
But when I step on that scale, I remember why I did it in the first place... : )
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