Random...

I talked to "him" today. Something it seems we never really do lately. (Well...via text anyway...) We've both come to the conclusion that our lives are going in different directions. We spend less time together & don't talk as much as we used to. I just sensed something...different. & I had to talk to him about it to see where his head was at. There are some things that I just can't bear the thought of anymore. Main one being, the constant wondering & the questions I keep asking myself. I guess I needed him to confirm what I already knew deep down. Some sort of...closure. We'll still remain friends of course & he'll always hold a special place in my heart. We have some really great memories together. I'd rather walk away from the situation with our friendship still intact, then with a cold heart & bitter feelings...

This was my horoscope for today. I found it funny so I thought I would share...

"Your love life is undergoing a metamorphosis that can have a great impact on your self-esteem. Your emotions are very intense now, but something isn't quite right. As much as you try to ignore the little things that could get in the way of more crucial concerns, there's a larger problem that might not be so easy to escape. Your determination to feel better about yourself can motivate you to find a way through this transformational period."

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I work in an office & in the dept I work in, we're all pretty close. Good friends; we've hung out outside of work. But if there's one thing I've noticed about working in a predominantly female atmosphere, is how absolutely catty some women can be. All smiles to your face but the minute you turn your back, they're flapping their jaws about you. I try to remain neutral. Don't get me wrong. There are some people I don't really care for & since I feel that way, I keep my distance & maintain a professional attitude. I try very hard NOT to fall into the category of people who are "two-faced", as I call it. I can't stand it. It makes me wonder what they might be saying behind MY back whenever I leave the room...

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I have so many things running thru my mind lately. I go to work & the day pretty much passes by me in a blur. Before I know it, I've worked more hours than I can count on my fingers & all I can think of at that point is my bed. I don't feel the same inside... Aside from a few tears I shed this morning during my conversation with "him", I've been numb. Not being able to be much of anything. Why am I feeling this way?... Now that's a post for another day... Tommorrow, even...

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