A Year Ago Today... (Poem)

A year ago today you looked at me & promised it would happen in due time. I wanted to believe you. As much as my heart told me that there was no truth in your words, I was captivated by the way you spoke to me & the warmth in your eyes. Whenever I was around you, all I wanted to do was wrap myself around you. Perfect synchronization in the bedroom is what kept our passion for one another, alive. Promises of a better tomorrow are what kept me waiting. Waiting for the day you would claim me & I could absorb every bit of you, every day, for as long as we could make it last. The minute you would leave my side, it seemed reality would come crashing down around me.

I tried to ignore it. But I might as well have found a random number in your coat pocket with the way you were so blatant about your love for women. One was never enough. What was it?, I would wonder. What else have I not given you that SHE already has? I kept telling myself that it didn't matter. Tried to make excuses for your behaviors & find reasons to justify your actions. It didn't help nor make it any better.

Late night phone calls. Disappearing at odd times of the night. I would even watch as you would oh so casually kiss your “friends” on the cheek & then whisper something quickly in their ear as you so often would do to me. And then I would watch that same smile creep across their faces & know in my heart, it was all a game to you. A man who couldn't keep his hands out of the cookie jar, your words lacked sincerity. It was then that I knew I couldn't continue to be blind to the obvious. My love for you had become a joke.

A year ago today, I let you go & closed the door on my hopes & dreams of a future with you. Trust would not come easy to me in the days to come & honesty would become a thing of the past. You've changed me. I'm the female version of you now. And every now & then, one of my “friends” finds that random number in my coat pocket & has to ask himself whether he should stay...or go....

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