I overthink things too much. I know this. I hate it. I wish I didn't do it. I think it comes with having your heart broken one too many times & bein so apprehensive about trusting anyone, most notably, men. But I don't know....my heart is tellin me this time it's different. 10 yrs.....lol.....I dated him when I was 15. For the past 10 yrs, I asked a couple of my old classmates if they had heard of him, knew how he was.....nothing. Until a few months ago, he found me on Facebook....
We talk almost everyday... Everyday I feel a little more & I want to say he does to. It's in the things he says & how he speaks to me, that I can just tell. I want to be rational. I don't want to get so caught up in my feelings that I lose sight of what it really is. But is it so wrong for me to WANT to be with him? To WANT to wake up everyday to the sight of his smiling face? To WANT to share my life with someone as sweet & wonderful as him?
Patience has never been one of my strongest attributes. But I believe that all good things happen in due time. So I'm taking it one day a time, seeing what happens. Doesn't help that I no longer live in the same vicinity as he does. I'm in another state now. *sigh*
There's a very small part of me that's trying to be negative but.......for some reason, I can't give in to it. Something is just tellin me that this could be different. That HE could be different. It's not as though I don't know what kind of person he is. If anything, he's become a better person than the one I knew 10 yrs ago.
I feel like I'm sitting in the waiting room of a hospital & I'm waiting for good news.....or bad news... The patient is my heart & apparently, I'm being told that all I can do.....is wait...
| P S |
1 comment:
i've never been much of a patient person myself, and i kinda get where you're coming from with the not wanting to see the negative part as much thing...
the thing is, most of our time is spent in the waiting room, waiting for our hearts to decide our fate, but sometimes our hearts don't even know and they need a little pushing.
Ten years changes a person, no one can stay the same for so long... unless they're absolutely perfect... abd even then, when you're fifteen, you wanna be different ten years later.
i am a firm believer in love, and the distance isn't gonna change the choice your heart makes in the end, trust me ;-)
love comes when it wants to, who are we to tell it when it can or cannot invade...?
go for it, don't look back when there's so much to look forward to!
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