Decisions, decisions...

Making the decision to really focus on my weight loss was the best decision I could have made. It's been a long time coming. I've struggled with my weight for many years now. Since my last serious relationship, really. & being with someone who constantly makes remarks about your weight gain & your appearance can either push you to work the weight off....or it can make you feel worthless & tear you down inside... Unfortunately for me, it tore me down & it took me a very long time to pick myself back up. 

But here I am; 6 years later, married, blessed with an adorable little girl & ready to get healthy. It's tough when you're not sure where to begin or how to go about it. Which is why I decided to pursue seeing a nutritionist & whatnot. (But that story is for another post.) I really had to decide what I wanted to do when I just kept getting very down & out every time I looked in the mirror. 

Clothes not fitting right or not being able to find my size in something that I loved. It effected me mentally in a big way & it was ruining my state of mind. It was just becoming too much of an effort to constantly smile & pretend I was fine when inside I was so sad because I felt like the ugliest & fattest person in the room. At one point, I decided to just accept who & what I am & just move on. I'd feel okay for a bit & not give a you-know-what about anything anyone had to say. Then I'd go try on a new dress & I'd be right back at square one. Depressed. Sad. Picking out every flaw on my body. Beating myself up for being fat. 

FAT. 

I hate that word so much, I can't even begin to tell you. I became TIRED & FED UP with feeling that way. So I did what needed to be done & here I am. 25 pounds lighter, still losing, eating a lot better & feeling DAMN GOOD about myself. 

Me losing this excess weight isn't just for me. It's for my daughter & my husband. I want to show her that if you put your mind to something, you can do it. I want to live a long life so I can grow old with my husband. I want to be able to see my daughter graduate & go to college. I want to be able to retire & look back at my achievements. I can't do that if I wind up with an illness attributed to being overweight. 

I made the decision to get healthy. & it was the best decision I ever made...

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